A Journey With Cerebral Palsy

The weekend trip for the yearly scramble has been enjoyable. Happening during the first weekend in June. The trip has been a good break from the routine of everyday. However, the weekend is still early in the golfing season. Meaning, leading up to the golf tournament in La Grande, I usually haven’t spent much time playing golf. Similar to this spring, I had only played once in late April. The feeling came over me to try playing a couple times before the trip to Eastern Oregon. The trouble, as happens most years, is that life gets in the way of a good plan. The other challenge of this year was the experiencing of a leg injury, towards the end of April. Making the challenge in preparing not limited to simply trying to play some golf. With the tweaking of my right upper leg, finding a way of healing, became another priority. Both of these aspects coming to light, with a month to go, before heading out on the trip. I set to work on trying to work my way through the hurt muscle. Hoping that somewhere within the healing process would be time enough to play at least one more day of golf. The most challenging part of getting my leg back into shape would be my discipline at home. Doing some work suggested to me by the chiropractor. The situation felt like it would be a grind, but I was hoping to get rid of the pain before departure. 

Injuries to my body feel like they pile on to an already injured frame. With cerebral palsy, it feels like I’m always dealing with some kind of limitation. I look at them as small injuries to the muscles I might be trying to use. When an injury gets added onto a muscle, already challenging to use, it feels like movement just gets harder. For the entire month of May, it felt like I was struggling through added pain and limitation to my mobility. I’m blessed to have the help of chiropractic work and a trainer. All of whom, seem to help with the chronic pain in my body, along with helping me improve my mobility. They help with these two aspects on a consistent basis. While, also being there to help me battle through any kind of added injury that might occur. It feels like any kind of intense training is probably going to bring about some tweaks every now and then. I have found them to be worth the minor setbacks in order to advance my physical ability, overall. Usually, the small tweaks that happen to my body, don’t require me to pay them so much attention. I’m normally inclined to let them take their time in healing. Not really changing much of my habits, in an effort to just heal up with greater speed. But this time, I felt a little under the gun, to reduce the pain, as much as possible. 

My wish was to be pain free by the time I left town for the La Grande scramble. The problem being, healing from the injury to my right leg would take four to six weeks. My question became how to get myself on the shorter end of that time line. The answer came back without any guarantees. However, the most I could do was put a foam roller to good use each day. Rolling out the IT band, running down the outside portion of my upper leg. The other instruction was to loosen my hip by resting it on the foam roller. There would be one little problem with my end of this process. The black foam roller had been no friend of mine, throughout the years. Basically, because I had such a challenging time remaining balance on top of the foam roller. It was almost impossible for me to find enough stability to roll my leg against this round object. To bridge the gap I felt, the only thing I could do, was find the painful place on the outside of my quad, and rest it against the foam roller. I didn’t worry about moving myself up and down the foam roller, just balancing in one painful place, along the leg. Then, balancing with my hip against the roller. I was diligent, completing the foam rolling process every evening in the month of May. Hoping for a pain-free golf trip, during the first weekend of June. 

The emotions of this injury felt challenging to manage. Because of the trip to La Grande coming, towards the end of my healing window. The emotionality also served as a motivational tool. Helping remind me each evening, to spend the time required on the foam roller. As the days of doing my work in the evenings continued. The injury got a little better each day. To the point, I could feel the small amounts of relief happening in the next morning hours. The biggest frustration of this injury was its stealing of my ability to bend at the waist. When it originally occurred, there was a morning that found me unable to put my socks on my feet. I couldn’t bend at the waist enough to reach the lower section of my legs. Anytime, I would be confronted with the requirement of bending over to pick something off the floor, I would internally cringe. Knowing there would be pain involved with making the physical maneuver. The days were challenging, living with this added feeling of limitation. At one point, early on in dealing with the injury. My shoe came untied, while walking through the grocery store. Knowing, the pain would be too great for me to kneel down and tie the shoe. I had to walk carefully, as I finished up my shopping, and checked out of the store. Finding a seat outside, I was able to sit down and tie my shoe. But, even that was painful to execute. The fairly extreme limitation in mobility was causing sadness. 

Thoughts continued running around my mind about the healing of this injury. Even questioning if it would ever get better. Wondering how long I would be required to walk through my world in what felt like debilitating pain. There were so many physical things, I just didn’t have the energy to do, knowing they were going to be painful. I was experiencing fear over the prospect of even going on the golf trip. Concerned over not only how painful it might be to play golf, but also the pain involved with moving about, during the trip. These worried were causing anxiety during the month of May. On the other hand, they provided a strong motivation to continue my homework for the injury. I continued battling my mind and my emotions. Getting on the foam roller with the belief that each small feeling of pain relief would multiply on itself. Finally, I was getting less pain when putting on my socks in the morning hour. The ability to bend down and tie my shoes came back. I might have still been experiencing pain, but it was nothing like the first week, following the injury. These were the first positive signs of light at the end of the tunnel. Even though, I still felt the anxious emotions about the injury and trip. Things were getting better enough for me to remove the thought of backing out. 

I waited until about the middle of May before calling my buddy. By this time, my process in working through the leg injury had been going on for a couple weeks. The healing of this injury felt like it went well beyond just playing in the golf tournament. I didn’t want to travel to La Grande if the process of moving through daily life was too painful. If pulling on my socks and tying my shoes was an exercise in avoiding pain. The question bounced around about whether the trip would be worth the travel. However, by the time I reached the halfway mark in May, I was moving about my daily life, more easily. My continual efforts with the foam roller were proving themselves, helpful. Leading me to believe that with continued effort, the trip would be doable. Even though, I still had questions about my capability of playing golf without pain. To answer the specific question regarding my pain level on the golf course, I chose to wait another week. With one more week of my foam rolling ritual, there would be even more easing of the pain. Providing me with a better understanding of the pain I would be going through during the golf tournament. The final piece of getting ready to travel would be playing golf before departing. With the plan of continuing my program of trying to heal the leg all the way up until my departure. 

There can often be positivity coming out of a troubling situation. By the middle of May, my right leg was showing signs of improving. The daily foam rolling of the upper leg on my right side. Along with the help of chiropractic and training sessions. Where all contributing to a growing confidence around my ability to travel for the golf weekend. I gave my buddy a call to let him know about the injury. Letting him know, with the improvement since it had occurred. My feeling was there was no reason for me not to travel. I let him know of my uncertainty around how effective I would be playing golf. That there might be some pain, but it shouldn’t stop my play. There was a plan for me to play the following week, to test out the leg. It didn’t feel like there would be any concern, but I want to give the leg a test. An injury like this one, to the upper part of my right leg. Though difficult, also carried with it, positivity. For me, the positivity came in the process of healing the leg. Over the month of May, I got better at using the foam roller to work on my leg. Even getting to the point of maintaining balance on the foam roller. Which, helped me roll my IT band, instead of being required to work on only one painful position. The process also has me working with the foam roller on a regular basis, now. I’m hoping the continued work with it can help improve mobility in my hip, even more. Helping me improve beyond the healing of the injury.